I can’t pretend to be casual around you,
I can’t pretend that my heart doesn’t beat faster when I see you
When I see you approaching.
I want to give you the tightest hug
and hope it won’t hurt when I squeeze a little too much,
I want to dance and sing
When I see you walking towards me,
I’m excited that you make time for me
That you have yet again chosen me,
I want to ululate, hold your hands, twirl around with you,
even though some scrapes of shyness still linger in my life.
My clients, they come from far and wide,
They go to great troubles to conceal our meets.
I understand that they have wives and husbands
Some even teach the law to the rest of us sinners
I wish they would profess their love for me
(or my services)
the way they do it when I’m in their beds.
Sometimes, I wish, at least one of them
would be overwhelmed by my touch
enough to declare it in the city,
to praise me before their wives or husbands.
I know, rabbi. It’s selfish. But, I often have no one to talk to –
and that’s why when you said I could talk to you about anything,
I decided to write this letter.
I actually wanted to come by the Temple the other day
when you said you would be teaching,
but my previous night had been tiring.
5 customers. 5 wealthy customers, rabbi!
At least I can now send some provision for my daughter
I miss her so much! She has the most beautiful smile…
Rabbi, you are not ashamed of me. Of my business.
It’s as if you do not see what other people see.
You visit me during the day, when everyone is watching.
You come to chat and break bread while everyone else comes to use
whichever part(s) of me their coins can afford them.
You leave me stronger than you found me
every. single. time.
I can’t express how joyful; how grateful I am
that you are my friend. that you seek me out.
that you teach. you encourage. you love me, a woman of the street.
I won’t be casual with you, rabbi!
I won’t be calm and collected with you
That is not who I am
That is not what my heart feels
I will try to express my heart in whatever way is natural for me
I will try to show you my love in whatever way you consume love
I can’t afford to be shy anymore.
I can’t afford to be shy around those people.
They don’t know how much I love you.
They will never know how much you have loved me.
I will not let them contribute to the expression of my love for you.
I can’t be casual with you anymore.
The cup that is full shall overflow.
I can’t be casual with you anymore, my love.
PS: Forgive me if I sound a bit too forward, rabbi. A smooth tongue is required in my line of business.
PPS: I finally saved enough to get the Alabaster flask of my favorite perfume I’ve been whining to you about 😀 I’ll show you sometime. I heard you’ll be at one of my clients’ house this week, maybe I’ll look for you there 🙂
I imagine these are the events leading up to Luke 7:36-50